Relieving the Hurt From Grief 
By Pastor James E. Price

People in grief need to keep in mind what Jesus said in Hebrews 13:5: "I will never leave you nor forsake you." This is our greatest hope when grief tries to crowd in. We are never alone; we are never in grief by ourselves. Jesus is always there. The devil would like to make us think that we are alone, that nobody understands what we're going through. But Jesus knows and understands. That's why He says in Matthew 11:28, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." When you wrap the Word of God around you, the Holy Spirit pulls you up and lifts you out of the hole.

Webster's defines grief as "a deep, poignant distress caused by ... bereavement; an unfortunate outcome: disaster." Prolonged grief can eat at your soul. Obsessive thoughts can bore into your mind like termites chewing through wood. Grief can ravage your immune system and devour your body. Grief and stress can cause sickness and diseases such as cancer. The devil wants to keep you under that 300-pound boulder of grief so you can't breathe or move. He'll tug at your mind and ask, "Why go to the Lord? Why did He let this happen? You don't feel like talking anyway. Shut those blinds, get a drink and wallow in your hurt, discomfort and depression. You can handle the pain yourself." But the Lord says, "Come to Me ... where you'll find help in the time of need."

In grief, as in all spiritual warfare, the mind is the battlefield. The mission is to say, "No, devil, you're not going to keep me in depression. I refuse to allow you to keep me in sorrow. Yes, I hurt and, yes, I miss my loved one; or, yes, I'm upset about what they did to me on the job; or, yes, I'm upset about how my life has turned out, but you're not going to cause me to slow down."

I have a pet pit bull named Kiley. When she's been hurt she doesn't want me to touch the area where the pain is. I have to approach her gently because when she's hurt she will snap at me.

That's what happens to some people. When they're hurting and you get a little too close, they snap at you. It hurts to talk; it hurts to bring things out into the open. Just like anything else, when it hurts, you've got to put some ointment or salve on it to ease the pain.

It pays to talk and get things out. It doesn't do any good to keep the hurt bottled up inside. We need to get help, and we get it by going to the right people. But go to those to whom the Lord directs. Don't tell your hurts all over the place, because you need to know that people have the right motives and have your best interests at heart.

Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted. I don't care how much you hurt, how much you're going through, He's able to heal you. He needs you to let him come and put the healing agent, which is His Word, on the hurt. People who love the Lord, who know God, can direct you to the places you need to go. That's what the body of Christ is all about.

It's instructive to note how Jacob handled grief as compared to David. You'll remember that Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery and tricked their father into believing that a wild beast had killed him.

Genesis 37:32-35:

	32	Then they sent the tunic of many colors, and they brought it to their father and said, "We have found this. Do you know whether it is your son's tunic or not?"
	33	And he recognized it and said, "It is my son's tunic. A wild beast has devoured him. Without doubt Joseph is torn to pieces."
	34	Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth on his waist, and mourned for his son many days. [my emphasis here]
	35	And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted [my emphasis here], and he said, "For I shall go down into my grave in mourning." Thus his father wept for him.

Verse 34 tells us that Jacob mourned for his son many days, even though Verse 35 tells us that his other children arose to comfort him. Since Jacob refused to be comforted by his children, he no doubt mourned much longer than was reasonable.

Let's look at how David mourned for his child. David had stolen Uriah's wife, Bathsheba, and caused Uriah's death so he could have Bathsheba to himself. One day God sent the prophet Nathan to David to let him know the consequences of his action. Picking up at Second Samuel 12, the prophet tells David:

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"However, because by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also who is born to you shall surely die."

Soon after Nathan left, the baby became sick. David pleaded and fasted for the child's life and lay all night on the ground . David put his all into prayer for that child, just as many of you have done in praying for your loved one. You gave it all you had at the time. But there are many cases where your loved ones, or your marriages, or your businesses died in spite of the prayers. That's why we have to recognize that we don't know everything. Believe me, it is natural to look for answers and wonder why your prayers weren't answered, but some things we won't know until we get to heaven.. Deuteronomy 29:29 says:

"The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but those things which are revealed belong to us and our children forever..."

As long as David's son was alive, he lay on the ground and fasted. But on the seventh day, when he realized that the child was dead, David arose from the ground, washed, anointed himself, changed his clothes and went into the house of the Lord to worship. After that, he went to his own house to eat. His servants were shocked. Let's look again at Second Samuel 12:

	21	Then his servants said to him, "What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive, but when the child died, you arose and ate food."
	22	And he said, "While the child was alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, 'Who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?'
	23	"But now he is dead; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me."

David had the right slant on grief. Psalm 30 says:

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Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

This article is excerpted from the book, Relief From Grief: Your Relationship With God, the Key to Recovery (0-9651783-5-8).